This has been a wild week (a few weeks, actually) for me emotionally. I am finishing up training on a new job working with developmentally disabled adults which has been quite a process--along with the emotional realities of actually working with the people involved. I also have some family stuff on my mind. By Friday morning, I found myself at the end of my rope--emotionally exhausted, looking for somehting to make myself feel better. It was fascinating to me that the first things I looked to were the very things I have chosen to deny in this vow. I wanted to buy something. I wanted to spend some money--a new toy or piece of clothing, a bike part (or a whole bike!). When I came to terms with the fact that I could not purchase my way out of my emotional state, I immediately turned to my wardrobe. I honestly felt, in that moment, that would be so much better if I could just put on a different shirt!
In the end, I asked God to honor my vow and help me find a healthy way of dealing with my feelings. I decided to go work out and then spent the evening with Jenn. We had a great conversation at dinner and then watched a friend who was acting in a college play. It was a good evening and, I think it did good things for my emotional state of being. I wonder how that date with my wife would have been different if I had had the opportunity to try and resolve my stuff with...well, stuff.
