Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday Worship
Last night we had our first worship service since starting the vow. I'm not sure of all the factors involved, but I had a wonderful experience in worship. Usually, it takes me some time to "warm up" to focusing on God on a Sunday night. I've got details on my mind--especially if I'm teaching later. Last night, I felt as if I was already pretty plugged in, so worship seemed to come easier. It was also the first opportunity to tell everyone in our church community about the vow. I am looking forward to what impact this may have on our church and how God might inspire the people in this circle to make their own vows in the future.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Here we go...
Well, tomorrow I start my vow. I've picked out my clothes (some of which will have to be swapped out when it starts snowing), I've said my goodbyes to the home computer and my wallet is riding pretty light. I'm really looking forward to this experience. I've certainly never done anything like this before. I think what is most exciting to me right now is the thought of an extended form of worship. I am choosing to make this vow as an act of worship of God--not for what he will do for me.
I've already started to experience some mixed feelings about the whole thing. I am realizing that I have a little anxiety about how people will respond to the external elements of this vow. I had a conversation with my wife this morning where I became aware that I was being really sensitive and thin skinned toward her. As I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I was taking offense at the things she was saying because I am a little afraid that she might distance herself from me in this process--when my facial hair is not attractive (or comfortable for kissing)...when my clothes start getting old, etc. She, of course, assured me that she was behind me all the way and not nearly as shallow as I apparantly am!
My prayer at this point is that God would be honored by my vow. I pray that he overlooks any ways I have misinterpreted or wrongly altered his Nazarite vow in favor of seeing my heart in the matter. I pray that every day I will remember who I am following and who's approval I am most interested in.
I've already started to experience some mixed feelings about the whole thing. I am realizing that I have a little anxiety about how people will respond to the external elements of this vow. I had a conversation with my wife this morning where I became aware that I was being really sensitive and thin skinned toward her. As I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that I was taking offense at the things she was saying because I am a little afraid that she might distance herself from me in this process--when my facial hair is not attractive (or comfortable for kissing)...when my clothes start getting old, etc. She, of course, assured me that she was behind me all the way and not nearly as shallow as I apparantly am!
My prayer at this point is that God would be honored by my vow. I pray that he overlooks any ways I have misinterpreted or wrongly altered his Nazarite vow in favor of seeing my heart in the matter. I pray that every day I will remember who I am following and who's approval I am most interested in.
Monday, July 12, 2010
My Nazarite Vow
I want to hear from God. I am looking for some direction in my life and in the shepherding of a precious community of Christ-followers. I have come to the conclusion that taking the Nazarite vow would put me in a place spiritually to be able to better hear from God. It is a choice I am making to seek God out, not for what he can do for me, but so I can do for him.
My favorite thing about the Nazarite vow is that the person involved is supposed to fulfill their vow while they continue with their day to day life. It would be so much easier to run away for a year and live in a cave (maybe a cave with a tv in it) than to separate yourself to God within the context of daily life.
The challenge with making a Nazarite vow in 2010 is finding ways to honor the spirit of the vow that might be more relevant to the times without slaughtering the original concept. For instance, I could buy a couple sheep and burn them in my back yard, but it wouldn't carry the same meaning as it did for a Jew thousasnds of years ago. I want to find terms to apply to my vow that reflect the original, but have meaning to me.
I will make this vow for a period of six months (July 15, 2010 to January 15, 2011). I have come up with five terms for my vow:
1) I will not shave or cut my hair for the duration of the vow. While this doesn't have the same societal ramifications it did back then, I think it will serve as a good daily reminder to me of what I am doing. Personally, it will also help me devote myself to letting go of my external presentations in favor of seeking God's approval.
2) I will give up my wardrobe. One of my first thoughts at the beginning of each day is how I will dress--how I will present/project myself to the world around me. In order to change that focus for a time, I am going to pack up all but three changes of clothing. This may not be such a big deal to some people (I have a homeless friend that probably only has two or three changes of clothes and he has to wear them all all the time), but I see it as a way for me to let go of my outward projections, my contrived identities designed to impress people or manipulate their impressions of me.
3) I will not use any credit or atm cards whatsoever. In my life, credit cards have come to represent easy acquisition of posessions and convenient ways to get what I want even if it is outside my means. I want to let go of that in favor of lookiing to God for his provision for a time. As a point of honesty, I will still have to use my bank account to pay bills online, etc. but I will not carry the cards in my wallet or use them to make purchases.
4)I will not use my personal computer at home. I'm not sure that I spend exorbinant amounts of time online, but I want to separate myself in some respects from the world. One way for me to do that would be to cut myself off from the daily news, surfing, etc. that I do online. I will still use this netbook at the coffee shop to maintain communication and to post on this blog, but will refrain from using the computer at home.
5) I am going to sell all my unnecessary automotive tools and bicycle parts. This may only be meaningful to me or someone who knows me intimately, but for a long time, I have had my identity and sense of self-worth wrapped up in these tools. I tend to collect and hoard them and they have become part of the projected identity I worke so hard to establish for the world around me and I want to sacrifice it to be able to better explore the identity God has for me. At the end of this process, whatever money I make will be given to my friend, Jason who's wife was killed in a car accident last year and who's kids were severely injured.
Concluding sacrifices:
Upon conclusion of the six months, I will make certain sacrifices to honor God and the vow I made to him:
1) I will shave my head and my face.
2) I will sign over the pink slip of my 1991 Suburban to my friend including the winch (this may seem silly, but is an incredible sacrifice for me).
3) I will give the proceeds from my tool sales to Jason Hotchkiss.
My favorite thing about the Nazarite vow is that the person involved is supposed to fulfill their vow while they continue with their day to day life. It would be so much easier to run away for a year and live in a cave (maybe a cave with a tv in it) than to separate yourself to God within the context of daily life.
The challenge with making a Nazarite vow in 2010 is finding ways to honor the spirit of the vow that might be more relevant to the times without slaughtering the original concept. For instance, I could buy a couple sheep and burn them in my back yard, but it wouldn't carry the same meaning as it did for a Jew thousasnds of years ago. I want to find terms to apply to my vow that reflect the original, but have meaning to me.
I will make this vow for a period of six months (July 15, 2010 to January 15, 2011). I have come up with five terms for my vow:
1) I will not shave or cut my hair for the duration of the vow. While this doesn't have the same societal ramifications it did back then, I think it will serve as a good daily reminder to me of what I am doing. Personally, it will also help me devote myself to letting go of my external presentations in favor of seeking God's approval.
2) I will give up my wardrobe. One of my first thoughts at the beginning of each day is how I will dress--how I will present/project myself to the world around me. In order to change that focus for a time, I am going to pack up all but three changes of clothing. This may not be such a big deal to some people (I have a homeless friend that probably only has two or three changes of clothes and he has to wear them all all the time), but I see it as a way for me to let go of my outward projections, my contrived identities designed to impress people or manipulate their impressions of me.
3) I will not use any credit or atm cards whatsoever. In my life, credit cards have come to represent easy acquisition of posessions and convenient ways to get what I want even if it is outside my means. I want to let go of that in favor of lookiing to God for his provision for a time. As a point of honesty, I will still have to use my bank account to pay bills online, etc. but I will not carry the cards in my wallet or use them to make purchases.
4)I will not use my personal computer at home. I'm not sure that I spend exorbinant amounts of time online, but I want to separate myself in some respects from the world. One way for me to do that would be to cut myself off from the daily news, surfing, etc. that I do online. I will still use this netbook at the coffee shop to maintain communication and to post on this blog, but will refrain from using the computer at home.
5) I am going to sell all my unnecessary automotive tools and bicycle parts. This may only be meaningful to me or someone who knows me intimately, but for a long time, I have had my identity and sense of self-worth wrapped up in these tools. I tend to collect and hoard them and they have become part of the projected identity I worke so hard to establish for the world around me and I want to sacrifice it to be able to better explore the identity God has for me. At the end of this process, whatever money I make will be given to my friend, Jason who's wife was killed in a car accident last year and who's kids were severely injured.
Concluding sacrifices:
Upon conclusion of the six months, I will make certain sacrifices to honor God and the vow I made to him:
1) I will shave my head and my face.
2) I will sign over the pink slip of my 1991 Suburban to my friend including the winch (this may seem silly, but is an incredible sacrifice for me).
3) I will give the proceeds from my tool sales to Jason Hotchkiss.
The Nazarite Vow
Then the LORD said to Moses, "Give the following instructions to the people of Israel. If any of the people, either men or women, take the special vow of a Nazarite, setting themselves apart to the LORD in a special way, they must give up..." Numbers 6
In the book of Numbers in the Old Testament, there is this scene where God is giving the Law to Moses and in the middle of it, he offers this option. A choice. This is not a law--not a requirement. This Nazarite vow is something that any man or woman can choose to do at any point to "set themselves apart to the LORD in a special way".
As best as I can tell, the Nazarite vow was meant to be a form of worship for the follower of God. It was something his people could do to set themselves apart from the world for a time to open themselves up to whatever God wanted to do in/through them.
Samson and John the Baptist are the two most famous Nazarites (I would almost put King Nebuchadnezzar in this group, but I'm not prepared to argue about it). Oddly enough, they were not very good examples of the vow. Both of them were committed to the vow from birth to death and Samson kind of made a mess of the whole thing.
The vow (read Numbers 6 if you really don't want to take my word for it--which I highly recommend) is designed to set a person apart to God for a limited time to be determined by the person involved. There were some specific terms to the vow and sacrifices to be made at the end of the established time period.
The vowee was to give up drinking wine or eating anything that had to do with grapes and vines. This had to do with sacrificing the pleasures of this world for a time to focus on the things of God. They also stopped shaving their beards and cutting their hair. This allowed them to let go of their external presentations and it was also a societally shameful act to walk around as a man with long hair which would have brought on some level of despisal from the world around them. The person making the vow was also required to stay away from anything dead, the idea being to maintain a certainl level of purity before God. Upon the conclusion of the time chosen for the vow, the person had to show up at the tabernacle, shave their head, then offer specific sacrifices to God.
In the book of Numbers in the Old Testament, there is this scene where God is giving the Law to Moses and in the middle of it, he offers this option. A choice. This is not a law--not a requirement. This Nazarite vow is something that any man or woman can choose to do at any point to "set themselves apart to the LORD in a special way".
As best as I can tell, the Nazarite vow was meant to be a form of worship for the follower of God. It was something his people could do to set themselves apart from the world for a time to open themselves up to whatever God wanted to do in/through them.
Samson and John the Baptist are the two most famous Nazarites (I would almost put King Nebuchadnezzar in this group, but I'm not prepared to argue about it). Oddly enough, they were not very good examples of the vow. Both of them were committed to the vow from birth to death and Samson kind of made a mess of the whole thing.
The vow (read Numbers 6 if you really don't want to take my word for it--which I highly recommend) is designed to set a person apart to God for a limited time to be determined by the person involved. There were some specific terms to the vow and sacrifices to be made at the end of the established time period.
The vowee was to give up drinking wine or eating anything that had to do with grapes and vines. This had to do with sacrificing the pleasures of this world for a time to focus on the things of God. They also stopped shaving their beards and cutting their hair. This allowed them to let go of their external presentations and it was also a societally shameful act to walk around as a man with long hair which would have brought on some level of despisal from the world around them. The person making the vow was also required to stay away from anything dead, the idea being to maintain a certainl level of purity before God. Upon the conclusion of the time chosen for the vow, the person had to show up at the tabernacle, shave their head, then offer specific sacrifices to God.
Getting Started
Let me lay something out here from the onset: I am no spiritual giant. If anything, my underwhelming depth of spirituality has brought me to this place. I have come to the point in my life where I long to experience God. I have been committed to relationship with God since my youth--serving him in church ministries and striving to live my life in a way that honors Him. I have never been the kind of person who "feels" God. I have never heard God speak to me and have never witnessed what you might traditionally consider the miraculous. My interactions with God have mostly been characterized by my pursuit of him and what I would call his affirmation of direction in my life. For example: when I almost lost my mind trying to keep up with a church movement that involved personal and marital burnout and spending copious amounts of money to attract people to the gospel, I feel that God led me along through a process of healing and reconciliation with his Church. The fact that I am currently shepherding a church community is a testimony to me that God intends for me to lead, and is interested in that leadership reflecting the way he has made me and the perspective and priority he has placed over my life. There is certainly more to that story, but it'll have to wait--another time perhaps.
I have recently decided that I want to hear from God. I want to experience his presence and I am specifically seeking his direction in terms of the direction I should take with this church community (CTK). I am wary, however, of falling into the trap of judging my relationship with God in terms of my tangible experiences as opposed to my level of obedience. I don't just want God to do soemthing for me, I want him to speak to me so I can better work for him. This is where the Nazarite vow comes in.
I have recently decided that I want to hear from God. I want to experience his presence and I am specifically seeking his direction in terms of the direction I should take with this church community (CTK). I am wary, however, of falling into the trap of judging my relationship with God in terms of my tangible experiences as opposed to my level of obedience. I don't just want God to do soemthing for me, I want him to speak to me so I can better work for him. This is where the Nazarite vow comes in.
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